Tuesday, March 15, 2005

If We Can't Trust the Truth of Fiction Anymore...


Sources close to the Vatican noted that the selection of Cardinal Knutcais to a newly established commission to debunk the story "Jack and the Beanstalk" signaled a powerful commitment from Rome to fight what they call, "a wildly ridiculous and utterly untrue story."

"It is profoundly important to explain to people in no uncertain terms that magic beans, giants in the sky, and talking hens categorically do not exist," announced a clearly exasperated Cardinal Knutcais to an audience of the faithful that had gathered in St. Peter's Square for the announcement.

Dr. Bill Meelaytre of North Southern University's School of Religion explained, "the Vatican needs to show that they are able to focus on important priorities even through the Pope's recent health problems. This determination to discredit the story of Jack and his beanstalk once and for all demonstrates that the Holy See is on message with a critical mission that has been neglected for too long: explaining to people that some fiction is simply not true."

While Catholic circles are buzzing with speculation as to which fictional story the Vatican will debunk next, there is no official announcement of their forthcoming targets.

*end parody*

Um, how else to respond to this? I guess as long as it keeps them from gay bashing for a few days, perhaps it is a welcome distraction. But really, this is too crazy for words:,,30200-13311903,00.html

"The Vatican has appointed a top cardinal to respond to what it says are lies, distortions and errors in The Da Vinci Code."


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